Sex is everywhere. Good advice on the topic, not so much. If you type 'Sex Tips' into your favorite search engine, you'll be bombarded by a litany of mostly useless information about positions and tricks that won't improve your skills in the bedroom.
The ten tips below stem from this one truth about being an exceptional lover: It all begins long before you take your clothes off. It's not about seduction either; it's about wanting to please your partner clothed or nude.
1. Use Your Mouth…
Wait a moment before you unzip because this isn't just about oral sex. The most important tip is to communicate with your partner. There are two other important C's to remember when it comes to becoming an exceptional lover: consent and consideration.
- Consent: This is the most important part of being a good lover. Consent is king when it comes to a toe-curling, screaming at the top of your lungs, breaking the bed type of romp. If you don't get consent, then you're already failing class. Consent is sexy as hell. Asking exactly for what you want and getting a sober yes is one of the most thrilling sexual adventures available to you.
- Consideration: Sounds straightforward enough, doesn't it? But if you don't have communication and consent covered, you're going to get an F — and not the fun kind. Consideration means knowing what your partner fantasizes about, their favorite places to be touched and their state of mind.
2. Masturbate Together
Masturbating with your partner is an easy way to find out what different types of touch and play get your lover off. Also, watching your lover please themselves can build-up an intense, delayed passion which erupts during your next encounter.
3. Take Turns
Instead of sexy business as usual, take the goal of reaching climax off the bed for a little while.
Here's how this works: Ask your partner what they want and then set an alarm for five minutes and get to work. Afterwards, it's your turn. Allow each person three turns before either person orgasms. If you master that, try five turns.
4. Review Your Mental Attitude
Intimacy requires vulnerability and vulnerability makes many people uncomfortable. Try relaxing with meditation before your encounter. Focus on how you feel and how you want your partner to feel.
5. Enjoy a Quickie in a Forbidden Spot
Add a bit of danger into your coupling and watch the passion ignite a fire. Having sex in a place where you might get caught can intensify the experience, giving you both something to smile about afterwards when you're having dinner with friends.
6. Slow Down
There's nothing wrong with a quickie in the woods but it should be different in your bed. Savor every inch of your partner. Ask them questions. Use a peacock feather to tickle them in all the right places. Paying attention to details can turn an ordinary foray into the best sex of your life.
7. Spend Time Apart
This tip is for couples who live together sharing bathrooms, raising kids and sleeping next to each other every night. There's nothing that kills passion more than spending too much time with your partner in a routine setting.
If you've got the resources and time, take a night or two at a hotel. If this isn't an option, spend your free time with friends or volunteer somewhere. There's a lot of truth in the old maxim absence makes the heart (and key body parts) grow fonder.
8. Send Sexts
Everyone loves to hear that their partner is thinking about them when they're apart. Setting the scene for romance is another aspect of sex that begins before you place a single kiss on your lover's shoulder.
Sending a sexy message to your partner during the day will plant a seed of sensual imaginings and get them ready for pleasure later.
9. Set the Scene
Choosing a location can heighten your sexual experiences, but it doesn't always mean a luxury hotel room. An empty house and a bed with clean sheets can be just as exciting. Timing is important too. Research suggests mixing up when you make love may reap orgasmic rewards.
10. Read to Each Other
There's erotica to suit every taste. Involving the written word into your bedroom activities can fuel your imagination and give you both ideas on how to excite each other. Anais Nin is a famous French writer whose work The Delta of Venus has been translated again and again. Consider her work an introduction to the wide world of erotica.