Usually, when it comes to perfecting a skill, all of that 'practice makes perfect' stuff gets pretty dull. What if we told you there's something you can work at that will have you and your partner cumming over and over again? A learning experience that could literally drench you both in love juices and make you an aficionado in the sack. That's right, even if your partner has never squirted before, it's an exercise you can master together. They can also do a little homework on her own! We aim to answer any questions you may have in our comprehensive guide to female ejaculation.
Are Ejaculation and Orgasm the Same Thing?
Interestingly, ejaculation and orgasm don't always occur together, although we tend to associate the two — especially when it comes to men. The more skilled you become as a lover, the easier it becomes to delay ejaculation. If you weren't aware that men could orgasm without ejaculating, look into tantric sex. This can help you and your partner on your quest to discover the untapped joys of lady ejaculation.
Most of the time, it's the intense contractions of the pelvic floor muscles during orgasm that cause a girl to squirt. However, you can squirt without an accompanying orgasm or have a squirting orgasm. Many ladies who have experienced that latter say it's one of the most intense and pleasurable ways to cum. You don't need to tell us twice!
Is it the Same as Peeing?
This is a controversial one. A lot of what you see in porn films, where a girl is gushing like a waterfall, is mostly urine. Likewise, if the partner is really into it and she is very comfortable with them, you can experience a waterfall-like orgasm where the girl is predominantly peeing. However, when it comes to proper female ejaculation, the ejaculate is a clear, non-sticky and odorless fluid. It's also released from the urethra and is more subtle than what you may have seen in pornos.
In Ancient China, they believed that the fluids secreted during sex by men and women had mystical, healing properties. Not only is sex good for your health, but spaff has the power to heal. Next time you get injured on the sports field or get a cold, you know what to do.
The Biology of Female Ejaculation
While it's becoming a more mainstream practice, not many people understand how and why female ejaculation occurs. As she becomes aroused, primarily via G-spot stimulation, her Skene's glands start to swell and fill up with ejaculate. These glands are connected to the vagina and the bladder, with both of them situated directly at the point of your urethral opening. It's for this reason that ladies sometimes feel an urge to wee when they're pleasuring themselves or receiving pleasure.
The sensation of feeling like they need the toilet can also be what puts some ladies off squirting, and learning how to feel confident and go with it is vital to reaching the next stage. As you get increasingly turned on from stimulation of the spongy G-spot, it becomes engorged to the point where you have to release it. The more comfortable and relaxed your partner is, the more likely they are to unleash the goodness.
We recommend taking a trip to the loo before you get down and dirty in your lovemaking session. This eases your mind about feeling like you might urinate when the time is right. Don't worry if it's only a little trickle — the more you learn to control it, the more you'll release.
Can Every Woman Do it?
You may have heard different things about this question. Some sources suggest that only some women can do it, but the prevailing attitude is that with plenty of pelvic floor exercises and a deep understanding of the vagina, almost anyone can get in on the action. Some partners enjoy it so much because it's an emphatic, visual manifestation of pleasure that's thought of as rare. Never pressure anyone into it or make them feel like you'll be disappointed if they can't — it's a surefire mood-killer.
You can give her some sexy homework, showing her that she can teach herself to have mindblowing orgasms by herself. The more she practices, the better chance you have of causing the ultimate big O.
Preparing For the Big Event
The importance of making your lady feel safe is essential and can't be underestimated. Many women don't orgasm at all with their partners (in spite of what those moans may tell you) because they don't feel comfortable enough. This doesn't mean they aren't really into you or don't love you; it's just tough for some people to let go entirely. You need to be open with your feelings and who you are to bring out the best of them.
Find a place and make it extra comfortable: candles, aromatherapy, music, cushions and possibly a towel or two will come in handy. Some people find the bedroom isn't the ideal spot for this particular sexual practice. The living room sofa is perfect as it enables your lady to lie back while bringing her hips to the edge of the cushion. This position gives you unfettered access to that magic G-spot.
Best Positions to Make Her Squirt
- The G-spot position is where you're positioned upright on your knees, and your lady hooks her ankles over your shoulders. She'll almost be in a shoulder stand position, with you holding her bum for support. Remember to gradually build the pressure on her tender G-spot, start slowly and work up a rhythm, remembering to scoop your hips to make sure you grind right up inside her.
- The launchpad position also has you on your knees, but this time you're sitting in a more relaxed position. Your lady's legs are bent, with her knees to her chin and feet resting on your chest. From here, you can see everything. Look her in the eyes, and you pound into her G-spot and watch her writhe with pleasure as you stimulate that elusive spot.
- The exposed eagle position allows you to sit down. You'll have your legs stretched out in front of you, slightly apart, and she'll sit on top of you with her legs stretched wide in front of her. The further back she can lie, the more G-spot tickling she'll get.
- The woman on top position is a tried and tested classic. This gives your lady an excellent chance for the kind of G-spot stimulation that she enjoys the most. If she scoops her hips forward as you penetrate her, making a circular motion, she's working the ideal action for squirting.
Squirting Tips and Tricks for Ladies
- When you practice, use a G-spot vibrator. They're curved at just the right angle to stimulate that essential area, and you can learn exactly how much pressure you need to apply to reach the ultimate goal.
- Toys that apply suction to the clitoris can also be excellent for getting the right kind of stimulation.
- Try not to stop when the sensation around your G-spot starts to feel unusual. Never hurt yourself (unless that's what you're into!) but push through feelings that feel a bit different.
- If you're worried about weeing, imagine how difficult that would be in practice. By going to the loo before you have sex or try to self-stimulate, you eliminate most of the urine and can mentally be prepared to unleash a waterfall of pleasure juice.
- Arousal is the key. Tease yourself, watch kinky videos together, get your partner to talk dirty to you — this is the time to discover what really gets your juices flowing. If you're relaxed and turned on, squirting is 50 times easier.
Potential Hurdles to Overcome
It's not an easy skill to master. Learning to make your partner squirt takes patience, communication and plenty of time! The best way to go about it is to start by talking openly about it. If you can't discuss squirting and what turns her on the most to get her there, you won't get very far. Next, try using a vibrator or your fingers to find her G-spot and start learning the correct come hither motion. Remember to clip your nails and begin slowly to build speed and pressure
Homework may also be the key — if you can't get there together at first, she should have a go by herself. It'll add a new dimension of pleasure to your love life and get you and her more intimately acquainted with exactly what gets her off. Plus, when it does happen, you'll feel like total pornstars.